Hear ye! Hear ye!
Here follows the roll of honorees, honoraries, and honorable beards, hereafter named as WINNERS of the 2012 Beard Pageant of, and benefiting, Denton, TX:
The WINNER of the highest and most hotly contested of the categories of TOP BEARD is Kellen Capps.
Runner-Up for TOP BEARD is Karl Boyd-Nafstad.
The WINNER of the category for video, presenting the most TALENTED BEARD is Chad Ford.
Runner-Up for TALENTED BEARD is Karl Boyd-Nafstad.
The WINNER of the category that measures weight, size and general enormousness of beard, MASSIVE BEARD is Dustin Weaver.
The Runner-Up for MASSIVE BEARD is Kellen Capps.
The WINNER of the contest for that bearded person, whose very name strikes courage in the hearts of those who might hear it, in the category of CELEBRITY BEARD, is Michael Pirtle.
The WINNER of the competitive category for that facial hair, that, while breaking all the rules, also gets everything right, in the category of FREE BEARD is Dan Blomberg.
The Runner-Up for FREE BEARD is Payton Lower.
The WINNER of the category that thinks that it’s a trip above the lip, for facial hair that’s all up there, in the category of LIP BEARD, is Kellen Capps.
The WINNER of the contest category that shows that no beard is no problem if you’ve got Photoshop, in the category of DIGITAL BEARD is Jeremy Pope.
